Saturday, September 19, 2009

Okay, this is mean but...

May we all have such success with our writing that the U.K. Telegraph devotes space to dissecting our twenty worst sentences, as they've done with Dan Brown.

A teaser:

16. The Da Vinci Code, chapter 4: A voice spoke, chillingly close. "Do not move." On his hands and knees, the curator froze, turning his head slowly. Only fifteen feet away, outside the sealed gate, the mountainous silhouette of his attacker stared through the iron bars. He was broad and tall, with ghost-pale skin and thinning white hair. His irises were pink with dark red pupils.

A silhouette with white hair and pink irises stood chillingly close but 15 feet away. What’s wrong with this picture?

1 comment:

i, chihuahua said...

when you're that successful, maybe the editing process is skipped altogether — knowing you'll sell millions of copies in multiple languages edited or not!